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vks slave


shoulder tat


October 6th, 2008


shoulder tat


Middle of the night and I scored a 146... not bad I guess.

May 4th, 2008

Prom 2008:
Dress - David's Bridal                    $283.55
Bustier - Masquerade                        23.40
Spanx - Lane Bryant                           18.00
Tux Deposit - Zeiden's                       30.00
Jewelry/Garter - Claires                     30.00
Shoes - David's Bridal                       69.55
Tux Rental - Zeiden's                       117.95
Hair Updo and Nails                           40.00
Flowers - The Painted Rose             31.80
Tickets to for the Prom                       85.00
Car Wash                                                8.00

And I've been told, we came off cheap.  Being that there were many $500 gowns and $200+ tuxes with accessories, and even though the Prom was an all-nighter at the high school (they didn't go anywhere), many rented limos.  We live down the road from the school, a limo would have been absurd.  As it is, I let the date use my car (and that's been a HUGE stretch for me).  One couple even showed up on a horse drawn carriage. 

Let's see... a little over a week ago, "Mom, I'm going to the Prom with a friend."
Over the course of the week, "Mom, the friend is living with several friends, bouncing from house to house."
My daughter started a new job last week and had a full schedule Friday and Saturday.
Sunday was the only day we had to get a gown.  First gown she picked at David's Bridal (in under 30 minutes - it was a miracle).  $130 in alterations to a $135 dress.  I'm glad the dress is something she can wear again, unlike the majority of the other dresses at the Prom.
We spent the next 5 hours looking for shoes unsuccessfully.
While out, we asked at several tux shops, what the turn around time is from renting a tux.  All shops answered, "if you want a tux for Friday, you need to be in here tomorrow."
Spent the next day trying to locate the friend who lives with friends.
Got him into a tux shop on Monday, 10 minutes before closing.
No beige, white or brown tuxes available, "OK, we'll take black."
Informed the friend he would be staying with us Thursday night so we did not have to try to locate him on Friday.
Tuesday ordered flowers and picked up jewelry/garter from Claires.
Picked up the date on Thursday.  Picked up the dress from being altered.  Convinced everyone in the store to talk the daughter into the one pair of black shoes that were available in the store.  She took them (Hallelujah).  Now I want to borrow them.
Picked up the date's Tux. 
Friday morning, off to the hair place (with one friend's intrusion of, please take my daughter too).
While at the hair place, picked up flowers and washed the car.
Picked up daughter at hair place.
Pictures at home around 5:00 pm.  Off to Prom around 6:00 p.m.
I left for the Grand March (I think this is a PA thing - you get tickets to the Prom to watch your kids Promenade through the gym), at 7:30 pm.  There were no seats left as parents line up for this at 5:30.  I sat on the gym floor, waiting for my daughter and her date to walk at 8:45pm, then rushed home to greet friends here for a play party.

I think I deserve a Mom award just for this week.
Next venture:  Graduation.  Prom Pic


December 26th, 2007

Santa was good to me.

shoulder tat
We had a wonderful Christmas Holiday with all of our children here with us.  Several friends joined us on Christmas day for way too much food and a lot of fun games.  We discovered our children (ours and our friends'-between the ages of 16 & 24) can beat the crap out of us at "Scene It".  Lesson #1:  Playing games "old people versus young people" is probably not a good idea.  Lesson #2:  Guitar Hero (whether playing directly or not) will cause migraines (at least in the old people).  Lesson #3:  Diet, what diet?  Oh yeah, New Year's Resolutions are right around the corner.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and has a great New Year's.


November 4th, 2007


shoulder tat
I've served my time.  I've been contemplating leaving my position for some time.  Some time has come to an end.  Now it's just figuring out the logistics of ending things in a responsible way. 

I've been ill for 2 weeks with what I guess has been an extended flu.  During this time I have been exposed to filthy homes, rats, the flu, bugs crawling on me, tuberculosis, a serious domestic violence situation, and 2 and 3 years olds swearing at me along with kicking and hitting me.  The final straw.... I've had a 2 year old crawling all over me, sneezing on me, asking me to scratch his back...I was told he had psoriasis.  A co-worker called me a few hours ago, on a Sunday.  I didn't take the call because it's the weekend and I'm ill.  She informed me that we probably shouldn't go into that house this week because the kid was taking to a skin specialist at Children's Hospital and has a contagious fungus all over his back, butt, legs, arms.  This has now made me more itchy then anything I've been exposed to in the past.  I've been exposed to and contended with lice in clients too many times in the past, but some how, miraculously never have acquired lice.  I've had a bout with scabies picked up from a family that carried it in their home throughout three moves.

At this point, I'm through.  I do not have one family/home I look forward to going to.  If this isn't the definition of burnout, I'm not sure what is.

All of these lovely feelings were increased by the fact the we had Mr. Rooterman come out and look at our Septic System.  Reality hit when he told me his hourly rate was the same as mine, he doesn't have a high school diploma, and he's been on the job for 3 weeks.  Now, not that being Mr. Rooterman is not an honorable job that doesn't deserve decent pay, BUT.... there is some comparison of one crappy job being compared to another.  I can't get it out of my head, that I have a Masters degree from Purdue and have been working in my field for awhile, and have a great reputation, AND I make the same hourly rate as the uneducated Rooterman. 

Master and I are looking at other ways for me to either work from home or find an alternative means for creating a positive cash flow.  I'm just not sure I'm ready to make the leap to just quit.  In the past I've gotten to points where I've been able to cut down to 2 or 3 cases and work a day a week.  The agency I work for is not prepared to cover my cases so I have a certain responsibility to help them with the transition.  I don't believe in burning bridges and I do have some good relationships built with this agency.  On the other hand, there has been unnecessary pressure put on me by this agency, by giving me crappy cases and expecting me to work miracles.  I work well with teenagers; I enjoy working with teenagers; I'm continually handed 2 and 3 year olds.

I'm not sure we can financially handle me just walking away.  BUT, I'm not sure we can physically and mentally handle me continuing in this environment. 

For now, I'm calling off of work at least for tomorrow, probably 3 days, and even likely to take the week off.  I have paperwork due tomorrow and I'll whip up the bare minimum of acceptable work to fax into the office in the morning.  I'm going to check in with an agency I worked with previously to look at some alternative possibilities. 

For tonight, more hot tea, blankets, and sleep.

October 29th, 2007

If one chooses to believe that life now begins at the new 30, and you're about to turn 40, you're left facing the question: what have you been doing with your life for the past 10 years?

And then there's the very phrase "turn 40". "To turn" suggests, on the face of it, that the turner is pro-actively involved in the process, as in turn to God, or turn into a butterfly, or turn a new leaf, when in all reality one is being dragged against his or her will towards the 40s.

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ "WOO HOO, what a ride!"
Author Unknown

What I want for the next decade:
*To love, honor, cherish, serve and obey the one I love, with everything I have in me; and to always respect him and follow his guidance.
*To encounter no life stressors that involve losing those I love, including having them taken away but kept just beyond arm's reach.
*To watch four young adults who we love walk across a college graduation stage, receive their diplomas and make a positive impression on the world.
*To know those four young adults recognize our love.
*To have one of my ingenious business ideas come to fruition, even if it fails after getting there.
*To be able to walk away from the position of trying to save unchangeable, ungrateful, non-motivated people; and, maybe just maybe, find something to do for people who do want to better themselves without handouts from those who work hard.
*To reach any number within the normal weight guideline for my height, and to be able to get there and stay there without any invasive medical procedures.
*To maintain a schedule that allows me to take care of myself, and gives exercising a priority over petty things.
*To do some activity I have always wanted to do, and not just talk about it.  (Sky-dive, Climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge and be touristy in Australia, Take a Dude Ranch Vacation or Alaskan Cruise, Take Cake Decorating Classes, Build My Own Gazebo and Koi Pond, Travel the Country in an RV while under the tutlege of control of my Master, Ski in the Alps, Visit several nudist communities that are tattoo-friendly, Go topless on The Riviera, Ride in a Hot-Air Balloon...).
*To live everyday with appreciation for what I have, to not stress over the future, to reach a hormonal balance that allows those around me to keep their sanity, and to allow myself to by happy without regrets.

Happy Birthday to Me! 

August 10th, 2007

slave's work is never done

shoulder tat
As a person who organizes, I hate having the feeling that I can never reach an endpoint.  There is always an on-going to do list that never quite gets finished before more things are piled on.  There's the current work pile of paperwork that I try to finish before the weekend, so I can have a work-free weekend.  There are the on-going normal things that need to be done in the house.  There's the ever-growing list of things that need to be done around here that get put off for $ reasons, or time, or finding the right people.

I suppose I should enjoy the feeling of being wanted/needed.  I know I'm a worse judge of myself than my Master is.  I once did an assessment having people I know tell me characteristics they feel I have.  Almost everyone said I was organized.  Like I said, I like to feel organized, BUT I never feel I'm really there.

When I go into certain houses I work in, I leave feeling very, very blessed that I have a clean home to return to.  I feel blessed that I have been given the means to maintain my home, but I constantly feel I can be doing so much better.  There are times I wish I had a 100 hour day. 

Lately I find myself needing a 7-8 hour night a sleep.  My Master sleeps 4 or 5 hours a night.  I read about slaves making their Master's breakfast in bed every morning.  Physically I can not do this.  I would have to put myself in bed at 7 or 8 at night in order to get up before him and make a decent breakfast.  I don't believe he would want me going to bed this early because this (7-12)  is generally when we're in good company with each other.  There are times when I have a lousy attitude when he comes in to wake me and it's because I've just not had enough sleep.  I have friends that sleep in past noon or later daily and I'm not sure how anyone can do that.  When I sleep past 7 or 8 I feel like I'm a real slug, when in reality we're going to bed at midnight and sleeping to 8 is a reasonable expectation.

I do enjoy the times I sort of surprise us both, get up before my Master, and have breakfast ready.  This does not happen often.  If I do manage to get up before him, he will most likely get up from me getting up.  Overall, he is a difficult person to surprise.  I suppose this is good from a slave point of view because he can keep me on my toes.  But it really sucks when it comes to trying to surprise him on his birthday, anniversaries, Christmas, or with a simple breakfast in bed.

It's very difficult to do things for myself when I have a non-ending list of tasks.  Writing here, exercising, taking walks, gardening, reading books, getting my hair cut....  I so need a way to prioritize better or in some way in which I feel I am making gains with what needs to get completed.  Calgon, take me away translates to:  Please Master, take me way down and away from it all.  And when I come back to Earth tell me what is at the top of the list so I don't waste energy fretting about not finishing the ever-growing list.

--vk's fssw

July 1st, 2007

As a subscriber of "Psychology Today" I was fascinated by and article in the August '07 issue. 
10 Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature
Numbers 2 and 3 were particularly interesting to me:
2.  Humans Are Naturally Polygamous
3.  Most Women Benefit From Polygyny, While Most Men Benefit From Monogamy

My first reaction to this is, this is sure one hell of a Catch-22 for men.  Upon reading the article I had to question their suppositions and possibly their motivations.

June 8th, 2007

Philosophical tidbits

shoulder tat
My Master told me to find something philosophical to say, so here goes:

I was meant to be controlled by man who believes women should be controlled by men, and who has the confidence, intelligence, and the tenacity to keep me in my place.  I relish in my place; at his feet, under his control, serving him, caring for him, ever working towards making him proud of his property.

"Be that self that one truly is."
"Boredom is the root of all evil - the despairing refusal to be oneself."
-Soren Kierkegaard

"Woman's destiny is to be wanton, like the bitch, the she-wolf; she must belong to all who claim her."
-Marquis de Sade

"Some people follow their dreams, others hunt them down and beat them mercilessly into submission."
-Neil Kendall

I, for one, am elated I am part of my Master dreams :-)

--vanillaknot's fssw
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